Has anyone ever asked you to write a recommendation letter for them? I’m sure you have needed one. I want to take away a lot of the mystique, stress and uncertainty associated with this formality.
When I was working on an Admiral’s staff in the Navy, we had at least 5 requests every week for a letter of recommendation. Someone was interviewing for a new position, someone else’s kid was trying to get into the Naval Academy etc. An admiral’s seal of approval looks great and everyone who had met him wanted one for something…even me.
So, how does a super busy, successful person write hundreds of recommendation letters every year? Well, luckily we had a secretary who would handle all of the paperwork but he would not have known where to start with accolades specific to each candidate and the admiral was “a bit busy,” to say the least.
If you want someone to write you an incredible, detailed, impressive letter recommending you, you have to write it yourself. The first time I was told to do this, I was shocked. I thought that would make it inauthentic and it felt like lying. The truth is, it is VERY authentic. YOU know the great things about you best. The person you’re asking to write about you has agreed to do so because they LIKE you for all of those reasons you are going to write about. The writer will look over your draft of the letter, put it in their voice and endorse it as their own. Write it as if it were going straight from your hand to the final recipient because sometimes, your “writer” may not change a thing. Your writer will be even happier to help you, the easier it is! Voila: The Best Letter of Recommendation.
It is absolutely OK to ask someone you only know as an acquaintance as long they know you enough to judge your character, i.e. a friend of your family’s etc.
Be sure to follow-up with a thank you card and then another follow-up with the outcome-you got the job. I like to send a gift when I actually end up-getting into that college, that job etc. Food/wine/flowers are perfectly appropriate. We’ve done chocolates to steaks.
(photo from limbte, via Flickr)
Rebecca says
I love this. The first time I asked someone to write a letter of rec for me and he volleyed back with the request that I write it myself and submit it to him, I was a bit shocked to say the least. I love the way you explain it above, it makes so much more sense when I think about it now!
Christina Warren says
Thank you! Like many, you inspired this post!