Just because you've been a Pinterest Mom for your entire life, there is another way.
“Just a moment please,” I politely asked my recent party guests if I could just take a photo of the colorful summer salads with my giant pro camera. How can I explain this but I technically didn’t do it for the ‘Gram?
The party, the food, any of it. This is who I’ve always been-a Pinterest mom, long before ever having kids..
When Chris and I were dating, we invited a few couples (his friends) on a trip to a house in the mountains. I was 31 or so and the only one without kids.
I had recipes printed out and bags of groceries prepped. There was even a Christmas frozen tequila cocktail I couldn’t wait for them to enjoy.
“You’re like Betty Crocker,” one of the Chris’ guy friends said. I don’t even know what Betty Crocker looked like but I imaged she was not a babe (which was quite important to me at the time). I sunk…”Like a young, hot Betty Crocker,” I fished?
I was yearning to create this memorable weekend with his best friends where we could really connect over delicious food and conversation.
Why am I like this? My memories of my mother entertaining include weeks of planning, preparation and painstaking hand crafted food (Korean dumplings, kimchi all from scratch).
I remember helping and seeing how much the guests enjoyed the event. My mom laughing and being such a generous hostess.
My mother felt so happy to host and entertain. These were the days before Pinterest or the internet in general. No smart phones or social media. A time of less in general.
Food is life, celebration and love. It's an opportunity to delight and spoil those you care for. It brings people together.
I’m trying to remember if it was Ina (The Barefoot Contessa) who said something like, “If the dinner is average, go big on the dessert. That’s what people remember.” You’ll find me wanting a signature cocktail at a dinner party as if I were throwing a wedding.
Even before meeting Chris, I’d throw dinner parties for my friends. Some of my best friends were also amazing cooks and entertainers. One friend was so ceremonious about wines. I’m not even a wine person but I felt so special when she would host and reveal her choices for us. Do you have that thing that you are just so good at?
My American Grandmother unknowingly taught me a another way.
Now if you were to ask me to tell you a favorite memory of my American Grandparents’ home growing up, I’d think of these casserole dishes with the fruit painted on them, filled with savory pot roasts.
“Everyone out of the kitchen please,” as my grandmother would bring the piping dishes out of the oven and onto the table clothed dining room. Surely she would be humming a tune as she often did.
As an adult, I learned it was a simple Campbell soup can type recipe but still the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Like, the very best thing I’ve really ever tasted. It makes me cry thinking about it.
My snobby self could not imagine serving a meal with canned soup as an ingredient but how amazing that I can now see that it wasn’t the ingredients that was at the center of those amazing memories.
My Grandmother has 4 kids as well and a ton of grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday. The house was always stocked with our favorites when we visited. I can see now how she picked and chose where to put her energy to get the biggest results and it calms me.
I'm in a season where I now purchase birthday cakes.
Gone are the days where I started baking days before a birthday. I even buy the incorrect number candle for them now (mom brain). Chris and I have a joke where we say, “First Memories,” every time we mess something up. They don’t even notice or care.
They know the options of cakes they have from our local grocery and get excited about choosing one.
Their biggest concerns are: what are the grandparents getting them, how many fiends can they invite?
There are other simple memory making touches.
There is this felt Happy Birthday sign we have now. It’s so cute and just something simple from Amazon. You can find them on Etsy too. It is hung on the same spot on the dining room windows for each celebration. Sometimes it gets balloons and sometimes not.
I’ve been to so many parties for kids now and I see these brilliant traditions other parents do to make a birthday special and they don’t take 17 hours on your feet.
What are some ways you can add traditions and special things that are so effortless?
I saw some cute plates that say “Birthday” on them. I know I’ll have a day when I can do the full 8 course event again but I want to stop holding myself to my pre-kid/pre-full schedule life expectations.
We are part of this generation where Pinterest took us to a whole other realm of overachieving crazy. Stay focused on the intention of the event.
Hey, Pinterest is still my number one girl. I’m grateful to be a blend of my Mom’s complex slow cooking and my Grandmother’s multitasking.
Use the beautiful inspiration you see online as a way to energize your creativity and not snuff it out. Choose only one or two things to pour your time into.
Delegate jobs to each family member and get the whole gang involved.
Remember to enjoy the prep and the process. This is your precious life.
How can you lessen your expectations on yourself so you can relax a little?
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