The Perfect Mani & Pedi for Weird Nails

Do you get your nails done at a salon? I go every once in a while now. The salon I go to has a “happy hour” from 1-3 on weekdays where all the services are discounted! When it comes to my nails (and everything) I am SUPER picky!! Surprising? Aren’t you? I love a shellac french manicure for my nails…

…and a solid bright color in the red family on my toes.

We all have our nail quirks: My left big toenail somehow inspires EVERY nail technician to file it in a REALLY CROOKED way (and my sister called each of my pinky toenails “rabbit tooth” growing up). It ends up looking like it’s giving me a little salute from down there. So, what do I do? I “pre-trim” and “pre-shape” them before I go. When they ask me, “Do you want cut short,” I say, “NO thank you” with the biggest smile slash “I’m dead serious/don’t touch that toenail” face I can muster.

Today I made the mistake of not pre-trimming/shaping. Yes, you guessed it, LEFT TOE SALUTE! I saw her filing that little puppy down to a nub on one side and leaving it long and sharp on the other. I showed her how I wanted it by holding the file and angling it in the direction I wanted. Still, the short end got shorter (possible?). A lady working two chairs down from us got up and came over. She took control, grabbed nail clippers and cut off the super long part. Then the filing began again…on the short side. So, little salute returned. I let it go. It’s really not that bad this time. This is kind of embarrassing to put a close up of my weird to on the internet.

My left big toenail basically can’t turn left or something. It’s no one’s fault. That toenail wants it that way.

Something every nail person likes to do is tell me how small my nails are, “Look, look at my nail and look at your nail. So small!” I take it as a compliment.

A few times ago, the women at the salon were laughing and speaking quickly in Vietnamese. I could tell they were talking about the middle-aged man/woman couple about to check out of the salon. The man and woman knew they were being talked about and giggled as well. After they left, I HAD to know what was so amusing. My nail cosmetologist hesitated before telling me…as if it would be a betrayal to translate it to me. Luckily, I’m half Asian…so maybe that helped?

Apparently, the couple were getting their nails done for their upcoming weekend wedding. The women working at the salon thought the idea of “older” people getting married was such a hoot! They couldn’t stop laughing.

A friend shared this video on Nail Salon Standup with me. Hilarious. So right on.

P.S. My manicure (not pedicure) person is going to be at the top of my “What I’ll Miss Most About Seattle” list. She is incredible.