What did your parents say to you when you were upset? I was playing with some young children at a summer camp and there was a very young boy surrounded by some older girls who were squealing all around him. He became overwhelmed and started crying. I approached him and asked him why he was upset. He was just upset by the noises! We were walking back to the classroom so he took my hand while crying and I said to him, “It’s ok. It’s no big deal, let’s get going back to the classroom for snack time. I heard we’re having zucchini brownies!” Oh hellll no, Christina! “It IS A BIG DEAL,” he yelled back at me!
Whoah! He was totally right-I failed to validate his feelings. So, I said, “Yes, you are right, it is a big deal. That was scary when the girls were yelling. I’m glad that’s over and we can get ready for snack time.” I’m sure there was a better way to handle that but I don’t really hang out with kids so I wasn’t prepared! It was sufficient in soothing him. He stopped crying and soon was skipping again.
What do you say to children/anyone when they are upset? Have you every caught yourself treating children differently from adults? What situations have reminded you of the importance to validate the feelings of others?
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