The perfect relationship role for you is the one that makes you the happiest. Do you have a good idea of what each person in your ideal relationship does to contribute? I’ve seen many happy and differing models from:
1. Two people who work and share home responsibilities
2. Two people who work and hire people to help with household chores.
3. One person works and the other takes care of house work.
4. Both people work equally and one does all of the housework-yes, this works sometimes.
5. One person works, the other takes care of house work and they hire help.
In the past I have been a Type A #4 and eventually I was very unhappy. Now I am more like a #5 and although it sounds kind of embarrassing to me/lazy, I am really happy. I have a gardener come twice a month help with weeds and a cleaning service who comes monthly. My Korean mother is capable of happily doing all the housework, cooking super involved/healthy meals, smiling, singing, ironing my dad’s underwear and happily folding laundry in front of the Television in the evenings. I am working up to that. For now, I appreciate the help.
Be really honest with yourself and your partner. I have a friend who wants to be THE bread-winner in her relationship and the man she is with is going to have to be OK with that. Every situation is possible, it just takes adjustments.
Which # are you? Do you have an arrangement that isn’t on the list? Is there a number that you’d rather be?
Emily Lita Barton says
I have been all the numbers and each worked for the phase of life I was/am in. So true, there is no right number.
Christina Warren says
EMILY!!! Yes, we keep evolving too! I have to remember not to be attached to any one of these archetypes. That flexibility is what keeps me happy! 🙂