Good Fences make Good Neighbors

I’ve always had a very formal relationship with my parents.  It is very respectful, kind and predictable.  When I moved to Seattle last year, where they reside, a more familiar report started to develop.  Now my parents have started to share their insecurities and asked for my opinion/help/advice.  My first reaction was to run.  I was totally taken aback and confused by my newly developing role as FRIEND.  Then I found a new perspective of compassion for them.  Some things I had been upset by now had an explanation.  My parents are real people.  I was most surprised by how naturally they delved into this new form of relating to me.  I pretended to act as if it were perfectly natural even though I was screaming TMI in my own head.  A friend of mine once said to me, “My father often told me that good fences made good neighbors.”  This made a lot of sense to me:  the idea that a certain separation from people kept the peace.  One of my greatest fears is that being “too close” is the first step in becoming too far apart.  My own mother (in a fit of anger) once even said to me, “You are so cold!”  Exercising “becoming close” has always led to the most gratifying relationships and I now open myself to this with my parents.  Let the games begin!  Wish me luck!

How do you feel when your parents share insecurities, secrets or worries with you?  Does it bring you closer to them? Does it explain anything you were upset about or confused by?  Do you think good fences make good neighbors?

(Photo by Ian Crew, via Flickr)