There is not one interior design chromosome in my entire body. I literally spend HOURS studying furniture catalogs trying to unwind an algorithm for that jena se qua they can achieve by combining the perfect white sofa with 18 coordinating throw pillows.
When I move into an adorable home I think, “Wow, I could royally mess this place up with all the right components and zero flow.” I’ve considered taking a few of those design classes that Pottery Barn offers but have the fear that they will teach me only that I have chosen the EXACT wrong, super expensive, 5 pieces of furniture to start with and that I must begin from scratch. Maybe ONE of the $80 throw pillows I bought 2 weeks ago will be permissible in the new design scheme but that’s it. Cue garage sale Craigslisting. Every time I walk into the store, the cheery salespeople ask if they can help me and I want to say, “No. I am beyond help. I am here to sheepishly wander the show room for approximately 45 minutes and buy one pillow. I will seriously consider each piece of furniture as a possible fit for my life and then I will bash myself for almost purchasing the worst decision ever. If you knew that I would buy enough to furnish an entire home today if I knew what to buy, you’d be really interested in me.” Instead, I say, “oh, just looking.” Insert awkward laugh.
Here I sit, finger frozen over the mousepad at the digital check-out line on Potterybarn.com. No coffee table. Vacant, dark, lampless corner of living room. Empty multi-picture frame (from Pottery Barn/can’t decide if it should be black & whites or colors) on the wall. Two micro chachkas in a sea of living space. Point zero three oz. of personality.
Anyone who has been to my home in the past and thought it looked nice…NEWSFLASH: I WAS GIFTED AN INTERIOR DESIGNER TO CHOOSE PAINT COLORS AND KEY ANCHOR FURNISHINGS. How do YOU do it?
(photo Potterybarn.com)
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