One of “The Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz’s book of the same name is: Don’t take anything personally. I had a good friend in San Diego who I was afraid of losing once I moved to Seattle. I made attempts at maintaining the friendship with intermittent calls and a few emails (things I am normally very bad at). A few months ago, I wrote and with no response from her (she being a person who is an impeccable communicator) I started to release that tether of attachment. I had even sent a very thoughtful birthday gift weeks ago with no acknowledgement. Then today, serendipitously, moments after as I was speaking well of her to another friend, she calls me. She had been bed ridden with illness for months and just recently resumed somewhat of a normal lifestyle. You know what the usual reason for a person’s lack of contact, cruel remark, odd behavior, etc. is? Them. Their actions are probably not intended to be harmful toward you.
Did that guy never call back? Maybe a pen-pal stopped writing. Whatever happened to the resume you sent in with zero response? How do you find closure and do you start to blame yourself? How many of you follow up to see what the reason IS? What was it? Your stuff or their stuff?
I am so excited to have my friend back and I hope she is recovering quickly now! 🙂
Rebecca says
Oh my god. How much more timely could this post be? It’s SO true. I can only think of ONE time in my life where it really was as bad as I imagined. The other person’s odd gestures and avoidances really DID signify harbor pent up resentment and anger at me. But even when that came out and I moved beyond the shock, I realized that it was still……all about her. It’s so funny how we live in our ego-centric dream, interpreting everything to be about us. Hey wait…..everyone else is doing that too…….
Christina Warren says
I am in such a dream! This website is my dream world. 🙂