I’m back at Starbucks today but this one is in Orange County, California. It is sunny outside and people are cheery. There is an adult tutor/pupil pair sitting in front of me studying organic chemistry (I recognize the carbon structure jargon from college-ew). We are at the coffee shop so Chris can do some remote business for his company on the laptop. When he finishes, we will go back to the hospital where we were yesterday-the reason for our abrupt California visit.
Yesterday the hospital chaplain told us in her sophisticated, Swedish accent that we needed to remember “to keep living.” “Keep going to work.” “Keep eating at scheduled meal times.” It was easy to feel like life stops when someone dies, she explained. Years ago after my friend Mike died, I remember seeing his brother get down to a guant weight. I recognized this feeling when I saw my first marriage dying. The all consuming fear of finality and then the finality itself. Suffocating.
There are so many kinds of deaths but the keys to surviving are similar. Say your peace. Say goodbye. Let it go. Remember the good. Forgive yourself. Give gratitude for the lessons. Breathe. Keep Living. Now we go to the hospital to join Chris’ siblings and see their mom.
Rebecca says
That was beautiful, thank you for sharing this private moment. Your closing thoughts are helping me with a personal dilemma right now. While in no way can this dilemma remotely approximate Chris’ loss, those are still powerful words applicable in more than one circumstance.
Christina Warren says
I’m looking forward to hearing about the dilemma you speak of! Good that it helped!!!! 🙂